Breaking News: Hurricanes damage local area
Two small hurricanes hit the local area this afternoon causing significant damage in the living room, dining room, kitchen…well the whole house.
The hurricanes were reportedly wearing superhero underwear and wrapped in torrents of juice box spray. Toy shrapnel stretches from the middle of the living room floor all the way upstairs to where unidentified blobs have been discovered on the bedroom ceiling. Experts are saying that the nature of the storm is one common to domestic dwellings, and especially homes containing small children.
“Widespread devastation and a total loss of organization is what seem to follow these small hurricanes,” an expert said. “Most of the time recovery takes at least 18 years, but it can even last longer than that.”
Despite the odds of recovery, victims are now pulling together to rebuild their lives–well one is at least. Mommy is trying to restore order although her morale is rather low.
“This hurricane has been ongoing now for at least eight years,” she said. “Out of everything we have lost over the years, what I really hope to find is my mind.”
At this point no injuries have been reported, but experts say victims are often found during the clean-up process.
“We find that death tolls tend to rise once the damage is fully assessed,” the expert said. “In one particular storm a victim was not found until after a half eaten grilled cheese was discovered underneath his bed.”
The hurricanes have now been put to rest but are expected to strike again first thing in the morning.